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Yes. But what do you do?

Without fail, week after week, we will receive client copy to work with that goes on at length about quality, innovation, value, customer focus and all the other abstract clichés of modern corporate speak. It may go on for paragraphs at a time, sometimes even pages, so after a while you just scream out “Yes, but what do you do?”

At this stage, the reader doesn’t know whether they are reading about banking, telecoms, insurance, catering, professional services, healthcare, whatever. The reasons behind this neglect are many, but most of the time I guess it’s the inability, even of a very capable and intelligent manager, to apply the external perspective a writer would. Sometimes, maybe, it’s just the desire to get all the buzz words in.

Anyway, here’s an example, not from a client this time, but from a letter I received through the post. It’s not too full of buzz words, but see if you can guess what they do……

Dear Mr Owsley,

XXXXXXXXXXX arrives in XXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXX has built a reputation for service, and we want to keep it that way, which is why we never stop investing in our people. Throughout our UK and International branch network, our staff are trained to the highest standards and offer a comprehensive service that is tailored to the needs of each of our clients.

Why choose XXXXXXXXXXX?

• We employ the best people in the business. Today XXXXXXXXXXX has more than 900 employees across its network.
• XXXXXXXXXXX‘s presence spans London and the South of England, reaching as far West as Bristol and as far South as Chichester and Brighton & Hove.

It actually takes until the next bullet before we have the first clue (and then it’s only a hint) as to what they do. I wonder if anyone will have read that far?